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Formerly Holl & Lane Magazine
Anxiety, what does it feel like? For me, it feels like I'm running a marathon, except I don't know what mile marker I'm at. My chest tightens, my pulse quickens, I try to breathe deeply but usually it comes up short. At times, in my most severe anxiety attacks, I have felt like a CD or DVD that is scratched and so the same line or word keeps repeating.
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My daughter, Zoey, sits on a bench beside me, moving her legs back and forth to the beat of the song she quietly sings. In the mirror before me, I see her kicking feet, and I am grateful her movement has momentarily pulled my attention toward her reflection and away from my own. But soon my gaze shifts back to my body to the task at hand, and I’m wishing I was somewhere else.
See all in body image
“Hey, fatty.” Did she really just say that to me? What kind of mom calls her pregnant daughter "fatty"? I knew I wasn’t fat. So where was this coming from? It felt different than how she had treated me in the past. She never treated me well, but this was different. This felt like a direct attack on me.
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If you are like me, you revolt with your entire being against judgement and unsolicited opinions. You believe that motherhood is hard enough without believing the lie that we can never quite measure up. You know that it becomes unbearable when we allow that lie to become the voice that drives our decisions and lives.
See all in self-love
I was 14 years old; a shy, nervous, freshman who had just gotten her braces off. He was two years older; tall, confident, a good singer. We started dating, much to the dismay of my parents, and before I knew it, I was in the type of relationship that was meant for someone much older than me.
See all in relationships
On the plane ride over a girl two seats behind me got airsick, very airsick. The flight attendants had to close one of two restrooms on the plane because it was covered in vomit. As soon as I registered what was happening my stomach coiled, my chest clenched. I felt trapped in my own body. I was so close to her. Was it the stomach flu? Could I get sick by breathing the same air?
See all in medical
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