Our Brand New Name + Brand New Issue

It is finally here. The day that we get to reveal our brand new name to you.

I started Holl & Lane Magazine in 2015 as a sort of creative side hobby. I had a full-time job, a new baby, and no intention to start an actual business. But fast forward to 2018 when I had my second baby and started to realize that this creative side hobby of mine had turned into an actual business.

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Summer Break

In the magazine world, things don’t stop. We’re always working one to two issues ahead and so there is always, ALWAYS, something to do. Add in social media, newsletters, and the boring admin tasks and in the last 4 years, it doesn’t feel like we’ve ever gotten much of a break.

So, we’re going to take one now.

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I Have Emetophobia

On the plane ride over a girl two seats behind me got airsick, very airsick. The flight attendants had to close one of two restrooms on the plane because it was covered in vomit. As soon as I registered what was happening my stomach coiled, my chest clenched. I felt trapped in my own body. I was so close to her. Was it the stomach flu? Could I get sick by breathing the same air?

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Our Top 10 Blog Posts of All Time

We have shared stories from over 1,000 women around the world. We have been called a lifeline and a safe space. Women have come to us when they are in the deepest despair of their lives seeking community and a hand to hold. It has been scary, overwhelming, and the most rewarding thing I've ever done. These stories have made us laugh, made us cry, and most importantly, they have brought us together in the arms of compassion and love.

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Trying Self-Acceptance On For Size

My daughter, Zoey, sits on a bench beside me, moving her legs back and forth to the beat of the song she quietly sings. In the mirror before me, I see her kicking feet, and I am grateful her movement has momentarily pulled my attention toward her reflection and away from my own. But soon my gaze shifts back to my body to the task at hand, and I’m wishing I was somewhere else.

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From Death to Life

I will never forget the first time I laid my eyes on the piece of ground where my dad took his last breath. My husband and I, along with our two children, made the long drive from our East Coast home to the rural Midwest town where my dad resided. Though I had spent my growing up years in the general area, I was only vaguely familiar with the stretch of road that would now be forever etched in my mind.

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I Miss My Mom

Losing a parent is never easy. When it happened to NJ, she became paralyzed with grief, thinking of the milestones that her mother would never see her accomplish. But she became determined to live up to and share her mother’s legacy with those she loves - especially her children.

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The Mental Acrobatics of Motherhood and Career

Reflecting on my upbringing, education, and beginning of my career, there was no clear template for a woman in business. Similarly there was no recipe for motherhood as a working woman. I became a mother shortly after turning 30, blindsided by my love for my child. Balance was not a thing before motherhood. I had always poured all my energy into my career, but now there was this little person who also needed me. I had no idea what it looked like to be a working mother balancing the demands of my job with the needs of a child.

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Stop Living in Fear

I think my writer’s block is fear. It’s becoming one of those days where thinking about what to write, and rereading things I’ve already written, fills my head with a sort of melancholy that makes me feel so tired of even trying. For some reason my own writing makes me feel like going to bed, hiding my head under the blanket, and turning off my brain. Forcefully numbing myself with social media or Netflix. I don’t know why this is.

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Breaking Up With My Uterus

I am breaking up with my uterus. Yes, you read that correctly. I am in the final days of owning one of my most identifiable, gender specific organs, and my emotions are all over the place. I have been diagnosed with adenomyosis and uterine polyps, and for those that are unfamiliar, it is a condition that occurs when the tissue that lines the uterus begins to grow into the interior muscular wall of the uterus, creating clusters of cyst-like pockets.

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Can We Talk About Postpartum Depression?

I looked at my baby with spaghetti sauce all over his face - smiling, innocent - and I wanted to fall in a hole. How did I get here? He was only one year old and had encountered more rage, more shouting than anyone should have to tolerate for a year, much less the only year they'd been alive. He didn't deserve this. None of us did. I was tired of screaming at my husband, him screaming back. Tired of yelling at my perfect cherub during sleepless nights. Tired of feeling so ashamed, so alone, so broken.

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