The Beauty In Between No Longer and Not Yet
Words by Angelique von Löbbecke
She takes a sip of coffee, eyeing me: "How’s your biz going?"
Ahhhh, the 5 seconds of silence lingering in the air, pregnant with judgement. "Great, I have been on vacay and now I am taking the summer off."
Bewilderment and panic: "So you are not seeing any clients at the moment?"
Me: "No, I am re-assessing what I want in life and what brings me joy".
Silence. In those moments I suppress my need for validation. The need to be liked and approved of and of course the reflex-like urge to defend myself and my choices like I am 5 again and not 42.
If you are an entrepreneur, be it soulpreneur or XYZ, chances are you are familiar with the position where something does not feel right. Maybe you have done it all: coaching, mentoring, courses that make your inbox overflow. Maybe you had your website designed, carefully nurtured your relationships over [insert any social media here]. Still you feel this is not what it should be like. It should be easier.
Spending the winters in Hawaii and summers in Bali. Shouldn’t you be jumping out of bed every morning, journaling your 3 pages on autopilot, eating your fresh, organic (home-grown for extra points) vegan breakfast while dipping your toes in the sand?
No? So maybe you are sitting at home in your home office and wondering: Where did the passion go? Where did the fun go? Oh, how I wish I could sometimes stop adulting and just sit on a swing, spitting cherry stones as far as I can and watch birds circling in flight instead of tackling active campaign, conversion rates, and trying to figure out the almighty Facebook algorithm.
I know this sounds naïve. All I want to do is help people heal. I don’t care about administrative tasks, I couldn’t care less about what I should or shouldn’t be doing in my biz and I couldn’t care less about what 90% of peeps believe in: hard work will get you the life of your dreams.
Why? A couple of years ago I was on overdrive and crashed hard. Twice.
Totally exhausted and disillusioned I landed on the couch, face down, and stayed there for weeks.
Game over. You know that moment when you are dancing barefoot to Nirvana in a club and suddenly the lights go on? Coitus interruptus. It was as if the unicorn had appeared and taken all the magic and glitter away.
So, let me ask you: How would your life look like if you could create it the way that you want? You are in charge. You can create your life to your wildest dreams or your worst nightmare, you choose.
Here’s what I found works, when nothing seems to be working anymore:
CONSCIOUSLY TAKE TIME OFF
There will come a point where your body will shut down and force you to take a break. The universe has its ways. If you are not listening, it will simply yell louder till you get the memo. Consciously taking time off is a great empowered act and first step in the right direction – for yourself (even if it does not feel like it).
ROADMAP: COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
You are only able to receive and see the possibilities when you are open for it. Practice gratitude, make it a daily habit. Great confidence builder when you feel like you're failing at adulting.
CELEBRATE YOUR FREE TIME
Netflix binge watch if you want, this is your YOU time. Good weather? Sit in a cafe and watch people in the middle of the day – guilt free. Buy yourself flowers. Dance naked.
TALK ABOUT IT - OFTEN
To everybody and their dog. Only if you hear what you are saying, you will probably feel what is right for you and you will get some great advice (take that) and not so great advice (leave that). But please don’t pretend you are a zebra trying to convince a tiger that your stripes are also cool: choose your audience.
Try knitting, crochet, drawing, painting, doodling or whatever else floats your boat. This might sound counterintuitive but doing something else will actually bring you sooner to your inner magic and momentum again, because it opens you up for MORE.
INVENTORY: KONDO (Declutter) YOUR LIFE
Highlight tasks and projects that fill you with light and passion. Outsource, delegate, or simply cancel the rest. You are here to do what you can do best. Fill the new space with more of what lights you up.
BEFRIEND YOUR ARCHETYPES
I am a recovering perfectionist, sometimes a plain perfectionist. Maybe you are a creator, a nurturer, a savior, or an alchemist. Truth is we have all archetypes in us, but mostly these are unbalanced. Put your inner child in the mix and voilá, you have conflicting desires and needs. Try therapy and energy work, like spiritual response therapy or shamanism.
Understanding your unique energy types and how these different goals (creators want to create - duh, perfectionists wants to be safe, and the wild woman just wants to run around naked) can be combined in a balanced, healthy way will let your inner light shine brightly again with a clear sense of purpose and direction.
Ride the wave. I dare you.
As a healer and spiritual mentor with a modern, grounded yet goofy approach Angelique combines an eclectic mix of healing modalities from Akashic Records till Shamanism and is the bridge in-between no longer and not yet. She loves connecting to her clients around the globe, riding anything that has wheels or is a boat and lives in Berlin, Germany with her husband Alex and their Airedale Terrier Amy.