Posts in Family
Crying for My Baby Who Didn't

It was the day we were all going to find out if we were having a little boy or girl. Our excitement permeated the room as the technician’s lack of communication led us to prodding her for all the details. She measured and looked and measured and looked, not saying much. She finally revealed he was a boy and we cheered. She did not congratulate us. Her demeanor was odd and she instructed us to go back upstairs and speak with the midwife.

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In Praise of Daughterhood

Motherhood carries a woman through the rest of her life; it knows no end, no timeline, no expiration. But daughterhood is more mysterious, more fragile, and more tangled. In part it is something we choose, but also something that is gifted to us. The mother-daughter relationship can often take many forms and finding a healthy balance is difficult.

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I Miss My Mom

Losing a parent is never easy. When it happened to NJ, she became paralyzed with grief, thinking of the milestones that her mother would never see her accomplish. But she became determined to live up to and share her mother’s legacy with those she loves - especially her children.

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The Mental Acrobatics of Motherhood and Career

Reflecting on my upbringing, education, and beginning of my career, there was no clear template for a woman in business. Similarly there was no recipe for motherhood as a working woman. I became a mother shortly after turning 30, blindsided by my love for my child. Balance was not a thing before motherhood. I had always poured all my energy into my career, but now there was this little person who also needed me. I had no idea what it looked like to be a working mother balancing the demands of my job with the needs of a child.

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Losing My Mom to Dementia

During one of our daily chats, Mom told me that the funniest thing had happened to her at Target. Finished with her shopping, she couldn’t find her keys in her purse. She retraced her steps, no keys. Mom then walked back to her car which was running, and the keys were in the ignition. This was two years before she died.

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Raising Informed Children

It’s only been in the last few decades that parenting has moved away from treating children like “tiny adults” towards the concept of “let them be little as long as possible." As a parent myself, I completely admire and desire the idea that children have their whole lives to be “adults” so why not allow them to be kids as long as possible? Unfortunately, as the years have passed, we have discovered that in the process of allowing our kids to “stay little” we have forgotten how capable they are and we have taken away their voice and control over their lives and decision-making.

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Nomad Parenting: Raising Kids on the Road

Chandler contemplated moving into the van full-time, though she was skeptical. “People would say things like: you have a baby, why would you do that, that’s not safe.” Despite this, she persisted. “I went straight to the source itself and asked Leo if it was something he wanted to do. His eyes got so big and he said: ‘I want to sleep in the van!’” A year later, the mother and son are still living this minimalistic lifestyle— sleeping oceanside, hiking Hawaii’s valleys, and practicing veganism in a thriving plant-based community.

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Losing Grace

I never got to hear my daughter cry, or laugh, or even breathe. But I got to hold her and feel her against my chest as I cradled her lifeless body for eight hours. I slept with her in my arms and carried the illusion she was slumbering peacefully, even though I knew better. Even though I knew this was a whisper of the life she would never get to have and the moments we would never get to share.

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My Mom Was a Runner

My mom was a runner. I don’t know when or why she decided to run, but once she began it became a very important part of her day. Up at dawn, she put on a tattered baseball cap, equally worn t-shirt and shorts, and Nike Air shoes. She carried a stick and a pocket full of dog treats. A dirt path around a quiet, desert golf course was her domain as the sun began to rise. She didn’t have an easy life. There was little peace in her life apart from running. This was the one thing she did for herself. An introvert, she rarely socialized outside of family. Life had ups and downs and she had concerns about various family matters, finances, and other things. But for an hour each morning, these were put aside as she allowed herself to feel the emotional freedom that comes from the movement and breathing that accompany running.

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The Dinner Table

Every Sunday my family gathers together for family dinner. We pile all the food onto the table and check in with each other. On a warm summer night, the windows will be open and our neighbors will be wondering what we're laughing about. In the winter, the woodburning stove is lit and crackling. The ambiance changes with the seasons but a constant is that, whether in joy or stress, my family week after week comes to the table to spend time together.

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Growing Up Among the Trees

There is something about sitting among the trees and just watching and listening that is so beautiful and cleansing. It causes you to pause and think about what it took for the forest to grow. The trees that have managed to survive the longest have undoubtedly been through so much. But the trees that had short lives and ended up on the forest floor, only to become kindling later, still served a purpose.

It is the same with us as humans. We often stop to compare ourselves to others, wondering what we are lacking, wondering why someone else is growing stronger or faster or living longer. We don’t stop to look at the beauty that we hold within and recognize our purpose.

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At Home with My Siblings

I think all of us have felt unsettled lately, like a general un-anchoring is taking place in each of our lives. The past year or so has been full of change, decisions, and uncertain direction for all of us. Deciding on a college major. Moving. Job searching. Changing a college major. New jobs. New babies. Dissatisfaction with jobs. A major medical diagnosis.

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