How to Be a True Ally to People of Color
Words by Erin Barber // Image by Sarah Hartley
Resource “Raising Little Allies-to-Be” created for FREE by Wander and Wonder Studio
Though the fervor of the Black Lives Matter movement and the media coverage surrounding it seems to have died down, there is still ample progress that we need to make if we are to ever live up to our namesake: The United States of America.
I somehow, simultaneously, floated and sank through the last few months—figuring out how to best support the BLM movement, protesting, maintaining my own sanity and peace of mind, and helping encourage social progress and equality.
During this process of floating through the highs and trying not to sink through the lows, I felt such a range of emotion. Running up against ignorance and hatred, misunderstanding and distrust, but being bolstered by supportive words, acts of courageous defiance, and unbreakable spirits, I found I developed a patience of new fortitude, a fastidious resolve of self love and love for others.
Through tumult, came an awakening and rebirth.
Realizing that there are others out there, maybe you reading this, who want to be helpers on the right side of history—helpers who strive for the same patience, self love and love for others, these are the ways in which to develop these qualities.
These are the ways in which to unite our country and spark an awakening and rebirth within yourself.
STEP 1: Listen to understand. Don’t listen to retort or provide a counter-opinion.
Individualism and freedom both are indelible to the spirit of Americanism. But so too are things like connection, commonality, and choosing to stand united. Therefore, in order to reach unity, we must listen to one another.
Now is the time to give people of color the microphone, so to speak. We’ve been shouting into a seeming abyss for so long, railing about the injustices that we’ve faced for centuries, with no real reprieve in sight. So now please listen. And this time, listen:
- to understand on a fundamental level.
- to learn, knowing that it is only through listening that we learn.
- to empathize, and feel the pain that comes with oppression.
But most importantly from this list, listen to understand. Do not listen, while trying to cue up your response. Do not listen to retort or provide a counter opinion. Simply sit silently with ears, mind and heart open.
Leave your prejudgments at the door.
So often we feel that we have to listen to respond. This time listen to understand. It is a practice in the lowering of the ego and it is not easy to do, but challenge yourself in this way.
Seek out the sermons of Black people, invite your Indian-American neighbor to coffee, engage with your daughter’s mixed friends. And then just listen to the experience(s) that they share. You will find connection; commonality. And you will have chosen to stand united.
STEP 2: Educate yourself on our histories.
It is true what they say, that history is written by the victors. Which is why, when it came time for American history in junior high, most of the stories that we read were very (how should we say) one-sided.
Time and time again we read about British colonists settling on rugged land and fighting off the natives, great American men leading the industrial revolution with innovation and important inventions as their tools. We read about the wars we’ve won and the great country that was built from those victories.
But rarely do we hear about these events from the perspectives of the people who lost—whose homes were pillaged and destroyed, whose women were brutally raped then shoved aside. Those who were used as cheap labor, nothing more than human cattle. Those who laid the foundation for these victories but never had their names recognized as heroes in our history.
It’s time to uncover those people and bring their names, accomplishments, suffering and losses to light.
Did you know that Matthew Henson, a Black man, was actually the first American to reach the North Pole?
Did you know that 15,000 Chinese laborers built the transcontinental railroad? And it is that same railroad that displaced the Lakota, Shoshone, and Cheyenne peoples?
Or that our military was still segregated during WWII? Meaning we went to fascism in a foreign country but still had fascist, racist policies at play within the armed forces meant to fight these ideals?
These are the histories and contributions to our country’s success that we simply don’t hear about. But make no mistake, this country is made great by the often unpaid, unnoticed and unappreciated contributions by people of color.
Please go learn about that history—the history that was never taught in school.
STEP 3: Travel to a country where people do not speak your language and do not look like you.
And travel far. Be uncomfortable, as much as possible, for as long as possible.
Yes, you read that right.
We can achieve the greatest growth and learning through experience. Traveling and seeing the world through a different lens can open the mind to “newness,” “otherness,” and “difference.”
And when I say travel, I’m not saying stay at the Hilton in the middle of London. I’m saying backpack, sleep in campsites, and stay in hostels owned by the locals of the country you’re visiting. Eat their food. Ask about their customs. Participate respectfully if you can. Be as close to the earth and the people as you can get. Stray from the beaten, “tourist” path.
The world is not as scary as you might imagine and people are people everywhere.
Get on Swahili time when you take the ferry from the continent to Zanzibar. That means, count time according to the path of the sun, like the people there do. Strip naked and don’t forget to scrub thoroughly before plunking down into the lush warmth of a traditional hot spring in Kyoto, one of Japan’s most culturally-rich cities. See Demogoroth Satanum, the first all-black metal band, perform while interpreting the rise of punk music in the township of Soweto, South Africa.
Do it all. Go. Get out there. This is how ideas flow, hearts jump start to a new beat, the most stubborn minds are reborn, and love is shown, not simply spoken.
You want to be a true ally? Travel—get to the heart of this human experience. Once you do these things, you will be ready to stand a citizen of all peoples. Not just as a citizen living up to the true namesake of our country.
But as a citizen of The United Peoples of the World.
About the Author:
Erin is a life-liver, writer, innovator, and dreamer with an immense love for people, storytelling, music, and dogs. She lives in Germany and has a B.A. from the University of California, Santa Barbara in Film, Media, English and Communication and an MBA in Media Management from Cardiff University in Wales.
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