My Relationship With Money

When I needed more money, which was often, I could call Grandma. Grandma’s money was given in exchange for my attention. I loved Grandma, but she was difficult. It took some work to get money from Grandma and it took a big swallow of guilt to take it. Grandma, money, attention, guilt, became a revolving door of shame and justification. My self worth was tied to this notion of divvying up a pile of money (good feelings) until it was gone (bad feelings) and then starting all over again.