If I had told my friend that I couldn’t get together because I had the flu, a migraine, or God forbid, I got in a car accident, I have absolutely no doubt that the response would have been sympathetic. So what gives? Why isn’t the response just as compassionate when it comes to mental health?

I believe most women want to support and empower one another. Yet, sometimes we end up doing the opposite. When a girlfriend calls brokenhearted, frustrated at work, or lonely, we carefully consider what we can say to help, but forget that our questions have the power to build one another up or wear one another down. As women, are we asking each other the right questions to support one another or are we unknowingly adding to the societal pressures on women to achieve it all and achieve it in the acceptable time frame?

I find ‘go-getter’ women have the hardest time with asking for or accepting help. I run and own a successful business, employ a small team, and manage our small farm. I’m the one typically hosting events, organizing groups, and dropping off the casseroles and helping wherever needed. When someone needs something - I fix it. But why was it so damn hard when it was my turn? Pride? Ego? It's all wrapped up in there somewhere.

I promised myself that when I got to the other side of grief I’d come alongside those just beginning with real support. I would offer helpful advice cultivated from my experience of healing, despite the lack of support I’d received from a confused and unprepared culture. Even more importantly, I didn’t want anyone to feel as lonely as I felt if I could help it.