It has slowly become more “normal” to talk about mental health issues in today’s society - which is a huge positive step forward. But it still seems that there are so many misconceptions and stereotypes out there about mental illness. What does anxiety mean? What does depression look like? What role does mental health play in suicide? What are the effects that mental health have in relationships, daily life, etc? There are many different experiences out there, and at Holl & Lane it’s always been important to us to not shy away from those stories.

During one of our daily chats, Mom told me that the funniest thing had happened to her at Target. Finished with her shopping, she couldn’t find her keys in her purse. She retraced her steps, no keys. Mom then walked back to her car which was running, and the keys were in the ignition. This was two years before she died.

Typing “Self-Care for Moms” into the Pinterest search bar will fill your screen with women who are lying in bed, lounging in the bathtub, and staring off aimlessly into space. Typing #selfcare into the search bar on Instagram brings back 14 million posts (literally) and will fill your screen with the same images, plus quite a few of women drinking wine.

I believe most women want to support and empower one another. Yet, sometimes we end up doing the opposite. When a girlfriend calls brokenhearted, frustrated at work, or lonely, we carefully consider what we can say to help, but forget that our questions have the power to build one another up or wear one another down. As women, are we asking each other the right questions to support one another or are we unknowingly adding to the societal pressures on women to achieve it all and achieve it in the acceptable time frame?

I am 20 years old, and spending a long weekend in the major city near my college town with my parents. We’re out at dinner with family friends, having a great time, eating lots of cheese curds, and I suddenly feel my left calf seize. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to stretch out my calf in the process, but it just feels so. much. worse. I let my parents know, and they tell me it’ll be okay, it’s probably just a pulled muscle.

It’s only been in the last few decades that parenting has moved away from treating children like “tiny adults” towards the concept of “let them be little as long as possible." As a parent myself, I completely admire and desire the idea that children have their whole lives to be “adults” so why not allow them to be kids as long as possible? Unfortunately, as the years have passed, we have discovered that in the process of allowing our kids to “stay little” we have forgotten how capable they are and we have taken away their voice and control over their lives and decision-making.

There comes a time in every child’s life when their family pushes them out of the nest- or rather, sends them into the salon by themselves. The salon chair may very well be the first throne we sit on. Once settled in, with a robe thrown over you, the power to determine your fate lies in your hands- and a stylist’s willing shears.

When I was in middle school, a classmate of mine started a rumor about me. This is not unusual. It happens in middle schools all around the world, every day. While this particular rumor appeared to be about me, it actually said quite a bit about the person who started it. This is also not unusual. My classmate told a few people that I was staring at her in class, apparently with great longing and desire. I wasn’t, but that is beside the point. By the end of the day, half the school was whispering that I must be a lesbian.

As a parent, once our child is born our protective instincts kick into a whole new gear. This also included my BS meter. Once I started to toy with the idea of dating (joining sites, reaching out to friends, using social media to explore options), I soon realized I didn’t have time for petty games, the witty banter back and forth, and hours of texting and talking on the phone.

I wondered, had it always been so hard to keep my eyes open after lunch? When did digestion become such a task? Maybe it had always been like that. Maybe I just needed to get more sleep. For the first month or four, even I thought I was just being lazy.

We can be so cruel to our bodies. From what we say to ourselves, to what we eat, drink, and think, to the ways that we harm ourselves and the company we keep. We can take our abilities for granted until something limits or restricts an ability we are so used to on a daily basis.

Chandler contemplated moving into the van full-time, though she was skeptical. “People would say things like: you have a baby, why would you do that, that’s not safe.” Despite this, she persisted. “I went straight to the source itself and asked Leo if it was something he wanted to do. His eyes got so big and he said: ‘I want to sleep in the van!’” A year later, the mother and son are still living this minimalistic lifestyle— sleeping oceanside, hiking Hawaii’s valleys, and practicing veganism in a thriving plant-based community.

There’s been a lot of controversy lately about self-care - what it’s “supposed” to look like or what it means. The truth is - it’s different for everyone. What feels life-giving and refreshing to one person might seem unimportant to someone else, but that’s OK.

This year / will mark the 40th trip I've taken / around our sun. / And I'll be happy to be one year older.

The thread that weaves itself throughout my relationship journey is always the relationship I have with myself. In this case, I loved him more than I loved myself. And I knew that. Things ended because I desperately wanted to love myself as deeply as he was loving me. While I was enamored with the way he saw me and treated me, I wanted to feel deserving of those things. So I let him go.

What does it mean to have an education in our current state of existence? What are the hidden side effects? As teenagers we begin to hear from every resounding adult how important it is to go to college. Select all that apply; “It will build your character”, “it is the only viable option if you want a sensible career”, “it will jump start the rest of your life” which will include; buying a home, getting married, and having children.

Here I sit, pondering the end of this satisfying career. Is it the right time? Does attending a workshop make it happen since now other people know what I'm thinking? How does a person "transition" from one all-consuming career to retirement? Is there an emotional roadmap?

My bionic heart and I had a recent breakthrough ignited by my morning meditation practice. I’ve been doing this for close to 18 months now. I place my cupped hands over my heart, one crossed over the other. I do this often to get myself centered and focused with my intention for the day. However, it was not until very recently that I felt full acceptance of myself, bionic heart and all.

I never got to hear my daughter cry, or laugh, or even breathe. But I got to hold her and feel her against my chest as I cradled her lifeless body for eight hours. I slept with her in my arms and carried the illusion she was slumbering peacefully, even though I knew better. Even though I knew this was a whisper of the life she would never get to have and the moments we would never get to share.

I’m not very good at celebrating birthdays. I don’t really know why. I like the idea of it, but I’m not the socializing, party animal kind. For my last birthday I stayed in with my housemate and her partner. We watched a horror movie, projected onto the wall and ate an obscene amount of bad food and cake. We drank a fair amount of wine too. I mean, why not? It was my birthday after all.