10 Stories on Eating Disorders and Recovery
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Words by Sarah Hartley, Editor in Chief
At least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the U.S. (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders). Eating disorders are a mental illness, something that so many women struggle with, but somehow it doesn’t get talked about quite as much. Eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, pica - they all revolve around food in some way. Seeing as humans literally can’t live without food, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to navigate that struggle every single day, several times a day.
But one thing I do know - the patience, strength, and perseverance from those dealing with and in recovery from eating disorders is awe-inspiring. Talking openly and honestly about this topic helps so many of us - not only those going through eating disorders, but also their loved ones. We see you and we’re here for you all.
THE NUMBERS OF AN EATING DISORDER
Calories in, calories out, how many miles to jog or sit-ups to do in order to burn off that apple from earlier, and the one number that never once left my mind...the one on the scale.
There was a time in my life that I had stepped on that scale twenty-nine times a day. I kept record of only the first and last numbers.
THE COURAGE TO RECOVER FROM MY EATING DISORDER
As I stood in front of the doors at a residential eating disorder treatment center, I shook with fear. What if these people make me eat so much and I get as fat as a whale? What if my life becomes more miserable than it already is? What if this whole idea of recovery is a lie? Despite the doubts and fears, I raised my arm and knocked on the big wooden doors. That hesitant knock, unsure of what was to come, was my first act of true courage in a stream of many to follow.
A RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD
As a college student just starting my second year of studying fashion, there is barely time for me to squeeze meals into my routine. Having an increasingly busy schedule and an eating disorder to try and manage poses a problem. I’m either in class or working on projects, sewing seams, drawing oddly shaped fashion figures, showering or, if I’m lucky, sleeping. With a deadline driven life, how else can I handle the situation?
MY EATING DISORDER AND THE STRUGGLE TO LIVE
I was thirteen the day they told me that I had been eating less than enough to keep a two year old alive. The doctors said I would not live to be twenty years old. It isn’t as if I didn't enjoy food, because it was practically an obsession.
RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH EATING DISORDERS
Relationships are a beautiful thing. They are a contagious laugh that fills a room, a shoulder to cry on when things get tough, and a hand to hold through thick and thin. But what happens in a relationship when thick and thin have a completely different meaning?
Body image is a serious mind game that not only affects the individual with the issue, but also the people closest to them.
THOUGHTS ON BECOMING A SELF-LOVE WARRIOR
I would love to say that years of self-loathing and punishment over my body was not my reality. That somehow, I was one of the few women blessed with a healthy relationship with the body I was born with and a confident, self-assured relationship with who I truly am. But that has not been the case for me.
BODY IMAGE: NAVIGATING THE HOLIDAYS
The holiday season is rapidly approaching, and as some people break out their cozy sweaters and warm spiced lattes to strategize their Secret Santa gift giving others have more chilling thoughts dancing through their heads. Christmas is a time of giving, laughter, snow days, and being surrounded by the ones we love. When your mind tells you that no outfit will look good enough on your oddly shaped body to go to Grandma’s house and that you are not allowed more than one sweet treat a week, it is easy to lose sight of the true meaning of the holiday.
WHAT AN EATING DISORDER REALLY LOOKS LIKE
What do you think when you read the word “anorexia”? High fashion models? Crazy teenage girls? Another diet? Or the latest Lily Collins movie? How about a ten-year-old girl that ended up with a lifelong journey for recovery? Eating disorders are considered addictions, but unlike the addict, who can abstain from the substance, I can’t. I must face both my fear and my “drug” every 2-5 hours, every day.
BODY IMAGE: A DIFFERENT NUMBERS GAME
Almost seven years ago, I was told that the cruel way I treated my body was going to eventually kill me if I kept counting calories and restricting my intake at the rate I had been pushing myself. The day my doctor said to me if I were to continue to do these things to myself, I would not live to see my twenties was the day I decided to defy all odds.
SURRENDERING CONTROL
If I couldn’t control what was happening around me, then I would just have to learn to control what was happening within me. Numbers were my way of keeping things orderly. I counted calories and kept a strict limit as to how many I could consume each day never exceeding that amount.
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