Caring for My Body, Caring for Myself
Read Time: 3 Minutes
Words by Lydia Dubose
What comes to your mind when you stop and consider: at my essence, who am I? What constitutes all of the layers and parts of my self?
I like to be a mover, a do-er, and contemplation has not traditionally been a part of my routine. Sure, I participated in grounding practices through the lens of Christianity as a child – settling down with a devotional, scripture reading, or prayer – but it always felt like a struggle to slow down and center myself in that context. Over the past few years, I have been working on building those kinds of routines into my life and living with greater awareness.
Once I take the time to slow down and pay attention to myself and the world around me, I realize that I have a greater capacity for growth, space to be there for my loved ones, and can process my emotions in a way that ultimately makes me a better friend, spouse, and sister. After the disruptions that the worldwide pandemic caused in my life and the life of everyone I know, I have taken extra care to consider what was working in the “before times” and what do I want to bring with me into the future. This reflection has helped me reprioritize how I spend my time, the people I want to stay connected to, and the dreams I have for the future. During this time of greater isolation, my relationship with my body has changed and so has my understanding of myself. I have spent a lot of time considering what is important to me, and what makes me who I am.
Historically, I have thought of my body not as a key part of myself, but as a container for the things that make me who I am. There are a lot of different views on what encompasses our true selves, and my perspective has changed over time. I grew up thinking that my body was just a tool to help my heart and brain move through the world, thinking my body was not me but something I was attached to nonetheless. But then why do we tend to fixate so much of our energy on thinking about these bodies that we live in, how to control our bodies? And why is it that when considering our bodies, we focus not on how it feels or what it needs, but instead we tend to spend our time focusing on how it looks?
I learned from a young age that the mind is true and pure, while the body is bad and has an expiration date. This originates from Plato’s theory of the mind and body, and on the way that some have interpreted Biblical texts, claiming that our bodies are something to be ashamed of. I remember being a part of a club as a young girl, where we would recite the verse Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” The underlying (and frankly overt) messaging centered around our bodies being bad and our hearts and souls as good. As I have learned more, thought deeply about these topics, and listened to the wisdom of others, I have grown to understand that my body actually is me. I can not separate myself from my body, and I don’t want to. This concept, that we are our bodies and by noticing our bodies we are noticing ourselves, is called embodiment.
Embodiment, as defined in the dictionary, refers to making something visible. Our bodies do that for us – make visible who we are in this world. Through our bodies, we gather with loved ones, participate in rituals that are meaningful for our lives, and experience a whole spectrum of emotions. If you pay attention, you’ll realize that anger, anxiety, joy, and bliss all show up in our bodies, not only in our spirits or brains. Our bodies give us the ability to convey emotion, whether by facial expressions, gestures, posture, voice, or with the aid of communication devices.
I used to think that my body was not always working with me and I would find myself frustrated if I could not hike as far as I used to or carry something that needed moving. I felt like my body let me down when I felt discomfort, not realizing that my body was instead communicating to me what it needed. Now that I view myself inclusive of my body, I realize that I have a responsibility to care for my body. Caring for my body requires that I listen to my body and respond appropriately, just as if I were caring for one of my dearest friends. It means being in tune with my physiological responses to notice and respond to my emotions, recognize when I need rest, and experience the world with all five of my senses if I am able.
What would life feel like if we lived totally embodied? What if we made our decisions based on caring for our whole selves, instead of being driven by “should” and shame? I hope you will join me as I keep striving to care well for myself, body and all.
** Editor’s Note: This is part 4 of a 4-part series on caring for your body. Read part 1 here. | Read part 2 here. | Read part 3 here. **
Interested in supporting the work we do at Kindred?
Thank you! Here are the three best ways:
Become a Fireside community member
About the Author:
Lydia Dubose (she/her) has a passion for learning and finding new ways to create a more kind and just world. Based in Texas, she has spent years cultivating relationships, growing programs, and communicating for nonprofit organizations. She enjoys trying new things, listening to podcasts, long walks outside, reading several books at once, secondhand shopping, and tackling new recipes.
👇 Share this post and help other women who need to hear they’re not alone. 👇