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How to Make Friends and Find Your Hive
Six years ago, I flipped my life and moved back home from Boston to Pittsburgh. I was about to go through a divorce and start my life over from scratch. No home, no job, and no significant other. The worst thing is that I wouldn't have my friends either.
Can I Join Your Club?
I was living in a town that was fairly new to me and my closest friends were scattered all across the country. Because “tribe” is not something you can add to a baby registry, there would be no random food deliveries or demanded showers. I was still on the outside looking into motherhood and I didn’t get it, but I knew I didn’t get it. And I was worried.
The Bonds of Friendship
The bonds of friendship aren't forged in blood. They are created from a sharing of the soul, a belonging like no other. When you have a friend, you have a seat at the table that has your name on it.
My Modern Spirituality Journey
One day I thought, “The reason people say it’s all about the journey is because it is all a journey. My calling is to live as a child of the light. And I have a whole life to work on doing that. In fact, I HAVE been working on it – my whole life.”
Changing Travel, Changing Priorities
The motivation to go and see new things is great, but we find ourselves now using travel as a reset. A way to step back from the normal, see and experience something new, and use our time to reflect on our priorities.
My Husband Left Us
When you get married you expect it to last forever. You make a commitment to share life with someone and start a family and dream about the life you’ll lead together as you grow old alongside one another. Never do you expect that person to come to you one day out of the blue and say they no longer wanted the life that you’ve created together. That is exactly what happened to me.
What Happens After Rape
When do I get to tell aloud the story of the boy in college, the friend, the classmate who I invited back to my dorm? The one who I kissed excitedly. The one who slid my pants off.
The one who smiled when I said, No, don’t. I don’t want to.
Reconciling After Infidelity
We all experience love and loss. However, we usually aren't faced with the decision of choosing to love again. After choosing to stay in a marriage after an affair, I have learned that love becomes love when you choose it the 2nd time, 3rd time, and 100th time.
Dealing with Toxic Family
I have a toxic relationship with my father. I didn't really know how to start this post so I figured I might as well just start with something honest. Something real. And at the age of almost 37, I still find it hard to say those words out loud.
3 Ways to Support Someone Going Through a Divorce
Divorce is a death. A death of a united family. A death of future dreams and hopes. This death brings with it a heavy grief, weighing on the parties involved like a heavy blanket. As a friend, how can you support someone you care about experiencing such an emotional loss? Your tongue gets tripped up on the words you can’t quite string together the way you wish they would. You’re not sure if you’re making matters worse or if your compassion seems genuine or coerced.
The Language of Gender
As part of my work, I write about the art of speaking gracefully and whether we should speak up or stay silent when it comes to online bullying. Now I’d like to take the discussion on language further -- to explore how words and phrases have the power to heal or harm when it comes to gender stereotypes.
I Grew Up in a Cult
I was raised almost entirely alone for the whole of my childhood. I don’t just mean that as in I was a loner or kept to myself; I was raised on eight acres of land with little to no exposure to the world. Due to the teachings of the cult my mother was a member of, I was never educated. I taught myself to read, and learned all my basic writing skills on the internet. In the time between, I played alone in the woods. Whenever I did attempt to interact with kids my own age (usually by going to the town pool) I was teased mercilessly for my lack of common knowledge
To the Man Who Forgot to Raise Me
I found you online last week. Social media is kind of cruel like that - offering instant access to the skeletons from your closet with a quick click of a button. I’m not even sure why I looked. Curiosity, I suppose. You look so different. You’ve gained weight, and your hair has become so white. You look old. You look happy. And it hurt.
Single Girl Series: Part IV
One hour. Four shots of Fireball. And a new found love of left swiping.
I was immediately hooked on Tinder. It felt so liberating to swipe left, left, left, ohhh right, left, and left some more. There were very few worthy of my right swipes and later down the line, my treasured super likes.
Divorced At Age 30
I fell in love. I got married in my 20’s. Settled into a beautiful condo with our pup, Miss B. I had a great job and my career was in full swing. Life was going well and on track for greatness. Then, in a flash, or so it seemed, it all came crashing down.
Single Girl Series: Part III
After everything had finished with *Austin, before he moved out of state, I was ready to have more of an actual single girl experience. Up to this point, I felt like I went from long serious relationship to one mini relationship to another.
5 Affirmations You Need to Hear Today
The heart of the work we do at Holl & Lane is our belief in the transformative power of words. Hearing someone's story and sharing your own create deep connections and help heal loneliness in our lives.
Single Girl Series: Part II
I wasn't looking for anything in particular when Adam* unexpectedly came into my life. At the end of May, only two weeks after ending things with Matthew* before they even really got started, Adam arrived in the small town I was still adjusting to.
A Mother's Disappearance
When I was fifteen, my life changed completely. My whole world was turned upside down. I remember this day like it happened yesterday.
3 Ways to Make Friends After Graduation
One day, I woke up and all my friends were gone. It wasn’t a bad dream – it was adulthood and I wasn’t a fan. After college, my friends left – chasing new experiences after graduation.