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Grieving Through Gardening
What is pruning if not the act of making room for something beautiful? The removal of unwanted parts so new growth can happen? In this season of life, the physicality of this task is something I can trust.
The Wonder of Spoken Words
Anytime a friend or family member told me, “Oh, she’ll talk when she’s ready,” I simultaneously felt relief and concern. Sure, there were plenty of children who were late bloomers and once they started talking, they never stopped. But my daughter, Charlotte, wasn’t talking at all.
Growing Up Hungry
Unfortunately, they taught us about the dangers of eating disorders but we never learned about child hunger. My genetics gave me a small framed body but being malnourished kept it that way.
Sexual Assault Survivors Deserve to Be Heard
I wish I could say that I screamed when it happened, that I fought back, that I ran outside and yelled for help. But my brain froze. It stopped processing the moment in real time. I moved, I pushed, I ran, I got in my car, and I drove -- all in some sort of reflexive state.
The Royal Pain of Grief
Between 1948 and 1951, my papa and granny fell in love, married, had a son, and called the island home for several years. But this story is about the second time our lives found convergence with the Royal Family.
Vulnerability is a Super Power
The ability to be vulnerable with others is a uniquely difficult place to be. You are spilling some of your innermost thoughts and feelings with no idea how the person on the other side will react. The definition of vulnerability shows just how difficult this act can be: Vulnerability is “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.”
Cooking Changed My Relationship with My Body
So often we talk about eating as a means to an end, but I love to think about food as part of an experience and something to be enjoyed, not just something to be recorded and counted to make me smaller.
I'm a Reformed Mean Girl
My cynicism has never served me well. Throughout my life, I was touted as two things: the mean girl or the sarcastic girl. Both labels I wore proudly.
When Self-Care Doesn't Go As Planned
Maybe part of self-care is recognizing that real life isn’t as simple as a self-care checklist formula for happiness. Trial and error – also known as mistakes – are the tools that give us the experiences to keep going and growing.
Putting Myself First After Divorce
What people don’t tell you when you get married is what happens to your self-confidence after the marriage ends. You feel unwanted.
My Son Rescued Me From Grief
He saved me from the choking grip of pain. He gave me a reason to smile, laugh, play, breathe, and remember what living was like.
Thoughts on Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a daunting topic to write about. There are so many strong emotions connected to the act of carrying another life, growing a life inside your body. At 20 weeks pregnant, I am learning the beauty and pain of pregnancy.
My Alphabet Soup Mental Diagnosis
When I started therapy last year, I was dealing with something known (my previously-diagnosed depression and anxiety disorders), but I was also asking a new question. Were some of the difficulties in my life thus far caused by undiagnosed ADHD?
Spirituality Made Me Sicker
This rant is meant for those who read things like, "I choose happiness because it's good for my health" and then feel so. much. shame. for not being able to choose happiness that day.
Learning to Listen to My Body
I realized I had no idea how to recognize what foods made me feel good or bad, or how to actually recognize fullness or hunger cues. I was so out of tune with my body that I didn’t know what joyful movement felt like, or how to find ways of moving my body that best served me.
Owning Up to My Racism
In months prior, my black colleagues had tried to be subtle about my need for growth, but I hadn’t seen it. I hadn’t wanted to see it.
The Size of My Friend Circle
The truth is a global pandemic brought the world to its knees and dared us to act on what we were truly seeing. I have never felt so torn to watch so-called friends fall off like flies and new ones blossom like a fresh flower.
Trapped Inside With a Baby During the Pandemic
At some point I imagine every new mother must have a sense of feeling trapped; leaving the house with a newborn is akin to training for an Olympic sport, however, not having a choice to leave, or the only choice being to potentially expose your vulnerable baby to a serious virus leaves little room for the freedom of choice.
No One Ever Talks About Abortion
This experience has made me realize that although the world seems so open about so many topics, this topic, abortion, wasn't one of them. There was no one to talk to about it, not my family, not a therapist not a friend because I feared being judged and shunned.
When Life Doesn’t Turn Out How You Expected
As you let go of the life you had planned, you may feel sad and broken. But there can be a beauty in the breaking and the way that you respond to your brokenness is everything.